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I did not realize the depths of my wife’s love

until she spent hours beside my hospital bed

while all I had strength for

was to sleep and recover.

Or when she was there

While I relearned how to do every little thing.

Or when she bathed me when I couldn’t.

I didn’t realize the depths of her love

when she attended to bodily functions I’m embarrassed to mention.

Or when she cut up my meat at the table because at the time I lacked the capacity to do so.

Or when, like a mother asking a child, “What’s Wrong?”

She wondered at my tears of frustration

at not healing fast enough,

or my weeping in gratitude at doing something simple for the first time

this time around,

like moving a toe.

I didn’t realize the depths of her love

until I experienced all the myriad ways she cared for me,

when I couldn’t care for myself.

And now, when she gets even more angry at me for smiling during her lecture

for doing something so incredibly stupid,

it’s because

I realize the depths of her love.

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We think ourselves immortal,

until we are not.

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Before my fall

I thought slapstick was funny.

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The Fall


Among many other bones

the fall broke my heart

It’s exquisitely tender now.

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The Fall


Among many other bones

the fall broke my heart.

It’s exquisitely tender now.

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Rose Gold


Rose gold bare trees

bow toward the setting sun.

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Weatherboy says, “Still snowy”.

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My Valentine


I spent the first 33 years of my life being prepared and then looking for you–my one and only.

Never imagining how good our next 33 years of life with you was going to be after all this time…

This year has been especially trying for us, only because life has laid me low.

But you have risen to the challenge.

I don’t deserve you.

And I am full of wonder that you had chosen to love and continue to love a bumbleton like me.

Did I ever think I would experience such depth of love and kindness as you have shown me?

No, and that is why, weeping,
I can only offer you my shattered proud heart with my contrite spirit.

If it pleases you,

live with me forever,

and be my valentine.

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How much harder it must be

to love a friend

when you know

they’ve betrayed you.

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My “Lost” Relative

I found this tintype in an old family album. But there was no information about him.

What I’ve learned so far is he’s wearing a Berden’s sharpshooter frock coat. The three chevrons on each sleeve with the white star in the middle denote that he was a Sargeant Major in the second? division. The Eighth Corps had no official insignia but the men adopted the 6-sided star by the summer of 1864. The Yellow stripe on each sleeve designated 5 years calvary service in the Civil war.

After a day of internet search, I have not been able to find his belt buckle or the symbols on his forage cap. Although, now that I think about it, the two dots are probably numbers. I’m still trying to figure out what the boat looking thing below them is. If anyone out there can help me with where to look for his name or the meaning of the above, I would appreciate it!

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